E-Z Animation
I finally caught a showing of Madagascar on HBO, and can now safely confirm that this movie, definitively, blows. I would have to rank it down there with Adam Sandler's Eight Crazy Nights as one of the worst animated movies I've ever seen, bar none.
But there's no denying the success of the Dreamworks formula. Wanna make big bucks through animation? Here's how to do it, the Dreamworks way!:
* Take a concept that's already been done, do it again, and claim to be the first one to have come up with it. Better yet, find out what Disney's working on, rip it off entirely, and go out of your way to make sure that your version comes out in theaters first!
* Hire as many big-name actors as you can -- on the basis of their names, not their talent -- and have them do the voices. Make sure, in your promotional materials, that you advertise the voice actors as opposed to the characters they are voicing.
* License your characters to as many different products as you can, and have them printed on everything from breakfast cereal to diaphragms. Then stick as many product placements as you possibly can into the film itself! For extra credit, put these products on the shelves up to a full year before the film is released in theaters! Whatever doesn't sell, you can put in new, "limited edition" packaging and mark up for the DVD release.
* Pack in as many hoary, tiresome film parodies as you can. Who needs fresh material? People only want to laugh at things they're already familiar with. (For further additional aid, see any random episode of Family Guy.)
* Meet your quotas of fart jokes, words-that-sound-dirty-but-really-aren't, and bodily function/fluid references.
* Write and animate the film in the course of fifteen minutes. Quality is for chumps.
* Release it amongst the biggest self-generated ad/hype campaign a human being is capable of mustering, and blame the film's failure on (pick one: the box office slump / international concerns / not enough product placements / President Bush / Wall Street / Disney / your dog).
I know you can do it, kids. Don't let me down.
But there's no denying the success of the Dreamworks formula. Wanna make big bucks through animation? Here's how to do it, the Dreamworks way!:
* Take a concept that's already been done, do it again, and claim to be the first one to have come up with it. Better yet, find out what Disney's working on, rip it off entirely, and go out of your way to make sure that your version comes out in theaters first!
* Hire as many big-name actors as you can -- on the basis of their names, not their talent -- and have them do the voices. Make sure, in your promotional materials, that you advertise the voice actors as opposed to the characters they are voicing.
* License your characters to as many different products as you can, and have them printed on everything from breakfast cereal to diaphragms. Then stick as many product placements as you possibly can into the film itself! For extra credit, put these products on the shelves up to a full year before the film is released in theaters! Whatever doesn't sell, you can put in new, "limited edition" packaging and mark up for the DVD release.
* Pack in as many hoary, tiresome film parodies as you can. Who needs fresh material? People only want to laugh at things they're already familiar with. (For further additional aid, see any random episode of Family Guy.)
* Meet your quotas of fart jokes, words-that-sound-dirty-but-really-aren't, and bodily function/fluid references.
* Write and animate the film in the course of fifteen minutes. Quality is for chumps.
* Release it amongst the biggest self-generated ad/hype campaign a human being is capable of mustering, and blame the film's failure on (pick one: the box office slump / international concerns / not enough product placements / President Bush / Wall Street / Disney / your dog).
I know you can do it, kids. Don't let me down.
posted by TM520 | 5:33 PM
1 Comments:
Yeah, but the lemurs are cute, eh?
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